varn.dev

My grandmother passed away, at aged 92, back on July 18. It wasn’t terribly surprising - she lived on her own till she was 90 but a series of falls and brief illnesses wore her down so that she then moved to independent living, then assisted living till finally transitioning to hospice. There wasn’t any specific cause of death, no pain at the time of her passing - it was “natural causes” or “old age”, which is something all of us can hope for ourselves and our loved ones. She lived a good life, with lots of family, and as she was my last grandparent, I’ll miss her a lot.

I’m 44 at the time of this post and beyond the sadness of her death, what has really hit home to me is that I’ve reached the point in my life where death will become more and more common. Any of us, no matter how old, can of course pass at any time. But when I stop to think about how my oldest uncle will be 81, my aunts are nearing 70 and both of my parents - thankfully both healthy and active - are also over 70 and nearing it.

It’s a strange feeling to think about how we view our family members as one way, only for time and reality to show that they aren’t. I still see my mom in my mind as she was 20, 30 years ago and the same for my dad. But in seeing and speaking with them, I of course realize they aren’t really like that - my mom’s had hip and knee replacements, my dad is a bit more forgetful.

It’s something that we all go through I guess if we are fortunate to live well into middle age and have family members who do the same, but no matter how old you are, the reality of mortality for ourselves and the ones we love will always hit hard.